I will admit, I'm kind of rigid when it comes to certain rules I have about guy's clothes. And I understand that women are the species who spend much more time on style and fashion. But is it really that difficult, guys? Shouldn't guys care a LITTLE about this stuff? At least for us? I mean, I've pretended to care about the golf swing of Phil Mickelson, which pitcher has a better ERA (see?), the new tool on sale at Sears, and the latest Best Buy guy gadget sale (yeah.. SEE?). I once stood in line for 2 hours at Best Buy while my boyfriend figured out which humongous over-the-top flat screen TV to buy. C'mon! Can I get maybe 15 minutes of thought in the fashion department? Khakis and a decent shirt can go a LONG way. The sad thing is all of the following are fashion crimes I have personally witnessed on dates. It's time to pull out your badges ladies... tell me what crimes YOU'VE personally witnessed!I know some people LOVE certain looks, but um.. not me. And it's my blog. haha!
- Never..EVER..Wear jeans with tennis shoes. Unless you are extensively walking a theme park, this look says old person. Sorry, I know some of my friends do this regularly. Don't worry, I would never make fun of you to your face. My momma raised me right.
- No jean shorts. Ever.
- No shells around your neck. Pooka shells or whatever you call them scream Jersey Shore a-hole.
- Crappy t-shirts that look like they were very popular... in 1989. And I'm not talking vintage. I'm talking shirts you've BEEN wearing for the past 20 years.
- Camouflage anything (see my legendary hick dates). Unless you're going to hunt on a date with me... um, no.
- Bandannas. See Bret Michaels. Hide your hair plugs in other creative ways.
- Ed Hardy shirts. I say, just wear a shirt that says, "I'm a douche who would sleep with your sister." See Jon Gosseling and Jesse James.
- Your old football jersey. You're not in high school. Get over it. I'm convinced it's a secret ploy to get me in a cheerleading uniform anyway, ya perv...
- Gold chains. Ya know.. necklaces on guys in general I'm just not digging, but lately at the pool it's been guidos with gold link chains on. Mr. T wants his look back. I pity da' foo who wears this crap.
- Clipped on gadgets. I get that you love your gadgets, but leave em' off your ensemble. What this says to me: I'm a self-important jerk-off and probably will check my phone 20,000 times on our date.
BONUS: Okay, this isn't really clothing, but my latest beef? Guys in their 20's, 30's and beyond donning Justin Bieber hair. Has anyone seen Tom Brady lately? He Bieber'd his hair!!! Never has a guy made me lose a boner faster. See before/after pics above and you be the judge.
4 comments:
This is awesome...I can throw a few out there:
Pleated pants (they just make you look like you have a fake boner when you sit down...ewwww), deck shoes (my dad wears these, enough said) and Hawaiian shirts (unless you are going to a luau, you should NOT be wearing these!!!
OH I so second the fact that all men should avoid the pooka shell necklace...C'mon Kenny Chesney can't even pull this off these days!! One I'd like to add to the list is Socks with sandals...this literally makes me vom in my mouth a lil. I love that your posting again...I missed you!
I have a female friend who wears socks and sandals - and year round at that! I have been trying for YEARS to get her to stop, but her response is "I don't care...it's comfortable." Well so are my bedroom slippers, but I don't wear those when I leave the house.
Don't forget the guys who still sport the wife beaters
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