Uh huh.

Conversation. It's a wonderful thing.

I just wish my recent date had learned how to engage in it. What I don't understand in life...jelly shoes, why people love Kathy Lee Gifford and how some guys acquire NO social skills in life.

Seriously, how do you NOT learn how conversation is attained. I talk. You listen and reply and perhaps add witty comments and ask questions. I listen and respond to what you say and perhaps add more and ask questions. You listen and reply in turn.

Simple right? Unless you are out with *Jay. Listen, Jay planned a GREAT date, don't get me wrong. I mean, how wrong can you be taking someone to the ballet? But you can't mask lack of personality with guys in tights, as entertaining as that was for 2 hours.

No, Jay has no social skills. Here is a snippet of what it's like to talk to Jay:

Me: "So how was work today?"

Jay: "It was good."

Silence...

Me: "Yeah my day was pretty busy. Something funny did..."

Jay: "Uh-huh"

Me: "Um... did happen today at work. I was in the middle of..."

Jay: "Uh-huh"

Me: "middle of class and one of my students raised his hand and..."

Jay: "Uh-huh"

Okay. WTF dude. Stop saying UH HUH!!! At least know that "uh huhs" are placed at intervals where there are PAUSES in conversation, not in the MIDDLE of sentences! Then when I finish, it's like he wasn't even listening and doesn't comment on what I said or respond to it in any way. He starts talking about something else entirely or there is just silence. It's like in Wayne's World 2 when Wayne & Garth are talking to the deejay about "Waynestock" and he isn't listening, and just keeps saying, "Uh-huh". THAT is Jay.

Then there are these horrible awkward silences. Tonight he calls me on the phone.

Jay: "What are you doing?" (a question, I'm impressed)

Me: "Watching something incredibly intellectual... Jersey Shore"

Silence.

Jay: "Yeah I was just finishing doing some cleaning."

Wow. You don't say.

I think the problem is, he doesn't listen to what I'm saying, so it comes across like he doesn't care. I think the guy is painfully shy & nervous, and ya know what though, at the age of 40.. you should have your shit together dude. I don't mean to sound so mean, but how do you manage 40 years on earth and not be able to hold a conversation? How did you ever get hired from a job interview? It's sad, because I think he's a nice guy, but I think he just lacks some skills, ya know? And at my age, I don't want to have to teach you. Too bad. Back to the dating pool we go.

Have a plan dude.

First my apologies for my lack of posting. Hasn't been a lack of dating...I took myself off the market for a little bit because I'm working 3 jobs. Had 2 dates, both boring as all hell. Yeah, a girl's gotta date, but a girl's gotta' pay the bills first.

With that said, I'm back out there now!! Tonight will be a new date with *Jay.

Not sure how to look at this. There is a cynical part of me that's in bitter mode over dating lately. I'm at that point where I get sick of the first date ritual. I'm not a country fan, but the song, "Did I Shave My Legs For This?" pretty well sums it up.

Jay... well maybe I'm being a little crestfallen after my last 2 dates (duds)... both old, boring fellows posting 10 year old pictures! UGH...But Jay is from the south, and I have to admit, my hickdar is beeping, a little. But it remains to be seen whether that's just his accent, or... HE'S A HICK, and I should run to the hills. The main issue - conversation with him is BOR-ING on the phone. But ladies, I'm sticking to the date because everyone keeps justifying this: "Maybe he's just nervous." "Maybe he's not a good phone talker." Hmmm.. or maybe he's... boring?

But I will give the benefit of the doubt and I'm meeting him for coffee. I dodged the dinner bullet on this, but really, he didn't give me much choice. I'm the one who had to plan this, and I HATE HATE HATE having to take the upper hand on a first date. It makes me feel like I'll have to do this all the time, and I like a "man's man" who takes charge (read between the lines on that one, but guys should know... ladies believe this translates EVERYWHERE). I like a guy who says, "Can I take you out to dinner, or would you like to ...." Here's more our phone convo:

Me: "So would you still like to go out tonight?"

Him: "yeah, they would be great."

Silence......

Me: "So um... what did you have in mind."

Him: "Um... I'm not really sure...."

Silence....

Me: "Well how about we meet for coffee or a drink?"

Him: "yeah sure, that sounds good."

Silence....

Me: "Okay, well how about we meet at..."

And of course I give the place and time. Again, giving the benefit of the doubt, perhaps he's new to online dating and he figures I'll be more comfortable if I make the date (justifying...again). Or... maybe he's BORING. I'll give you one guess how excited I am about this date.... (sigh)... But I promise to be my awesome, shining, shaved-leg and all self because I'm certainly going to put the best ME out there. I just hope his best is better than what I've heard so far.