Next up: Awkward Pet Photos!

I love pets, really I do, but there's something just odd sometimes about the pet photos that guys post on the dating sites. Get this straight guys - we think pets are great, but they aren't children and ya know - there's something sort of weird about really "lovey" pictures of you with your pet (i.e. the guy above cradling his dog - WTF?). I think it's great to show a photo of your pet, yes ONE photo of your pet, but then, there's a fine line there. For instance, if you have 4 cats, you inadvertently look like the "crazy cat dude". You can't get around that label (though I will fully admit - I don't like cats). Now, I realize there are MANY people who do have lots of animals, but then, there are also a great many people who think having a lot of pets is a little... odd. Agree or disagree, I still feel pics like these have no place on the profile. Why? It's supposed to be the "best" you and these pics, let's face it will turn some women OFF. Personally, the cat one weirded me out because of the ghetto-looking steps and gas cans NEXT to the herd of cats, but maybe that's just me? And the dog-cradler? Well... that's some pet love I do NOT want anything to do with. He had a series of 3-4 pictures of him with his dogs. CREEPY, not cool.

The Shirtless Hall of Fame... the Meatheads: They lift things up and put dem' down!!

I'd like to enter these fine gentlemen in my newest honor on Dating Dudes & Duds: The Shirtless Hall of Fame, though the last gentleman admittedly looks pantless rather than shirtless, but semantics, ya know? We still feel he's deserving of this honor. My first gentleman, I've gotta say... when you are shopping for the love of your life, NOTHING screams 'pick me' more than a hot sexy pose in a... public bathroom (with stalls in full view!!!) How very.. George Michael of you sexy man! Gentleman #2 - well, let's face it, he rocks. And the third one of course seems to have forgotten his pants but of course, didn't forget his favorite wife beater (because, we all know it's not t-shirt tiiiiiiime quite yet), but perhaps my favorite part about this de-pants bachelor is that he oiled up for the photo shoot. Hmmm... I can smell the cocoa-butter. If you haven't seen the Planet Fitness video yet, just go to YouTube and search for "I pick things up and put them down"... 'nuff said.

Are you an equal opportunity dater?

Perhaps it's my age, my 21 years of dating, but damn it, I've had it. I've reached the end of my rope. I'm done. Of course, we all know in about a week this epiphany will expire like a dairy product, but for today, I'm done.

Right now, I'm in a state of ???. The state of ??? comes from meeting a guy that just makes you feel all ??? inside. Case in point, my latest dude/dud *Darren. Darren is actually the type of guy I've been DYING to meet since I moved here - intelligent, intelligent, intelligent. Intelligence to me is a turn-on. I mean, sure some physical attractiveness is important too, but a well-timed, well-educated quip or discussion on something intelligent.. that's what makes my heart go a-flutter.

Darren I met on eharm (subscription is expiring), went thru the usual mumbo-jumbo and then encountered my 1st email from Darren. No joke - it was PAGES long. In the span of a single email, and yes this was in the FIRST email sent he asked me all of the following:

What's your job? Do you like it? Do you watch American Idol? Any other shows you love to watch? I watch CSI. Ever watch it? When is your school year done? When is your break? Have you ever forked someone's house? Were you a trouble maker when you were younger? Now? (that's a long story...) Where do you see yourself in 5 years? What type of dancing do you like to do? Have you taken classes? What's your guilty pleaure music band? Favorite band of all time? What brought you to the area? Do you have any siblings? Didn't Michigan just fire the football coach? Have you been to many professional sporting events? What type of dog did you have growing up? I know I missed a few too...

Now I've combined them all together to make a point - is this a job application?? Why not start asking me about my most successful relationship and what made it successful and what I've learned from my failures in life? What's my strength as a potential date and what do I have to offer my potential employer, er... husband?

Guys, keep it to a few well-placed questions. I feel like this guy is trying to find out EVERYTHING before wasting his time and the fact is, you'll know nothing about chemistry until you meet someone. Our 1st phone call was good, much more relaxed, less job application. But then our 2nd conversation yesterday is what has me all ???

I actually don't like to talk a lot before meeting. It's a waste of time if there is no chemistry. I've spent HOURS talking to a guy and then just not felt any chemistry upon meeting. So the 2nd conversation, I just didn't want to talk that much. He starts by talking about movies and basically starts dogging some movies that I really enjoyed, so I spoke up and said, "well I enjoyed that movie because..." He was dead silent, like I think he was offended that I (gasp) had an opinion and expressed it? I mean, sometimes you don't have to agree, why not just laugh at it? It was just one of those conversations where I felt that he wanted to argue/debate and I wasn't into it. Why would I want that? He just said some things I thought were sort of "belittling" like he said something along the lines of if I were around him and I were watching Jersey Shore he would have to leave the room. Yeah, well, leave and take the stick out of your ass while you're in the other room. Then once I expressed that I really loved Sex & the City, he started dissing that, saying that it's basically becoming Golden Girls. Okay, that was mildly funny. Oh, but then he also mentioned his ex wife... several times (RED FLAG!!!)

Then our 3rd conversation and he asks me how I liked having 3 snow days off work and I said "Well, all I learned is that I am NOT cut out to be a housewife. I was soooo bored." Again.. silence and then he says, "Well my ex wife was a housewife." My reply, "Yeah, well it's not for me. I was bored." And he continues to defend his wife saying she always had things to do, blah blah blah.. yeah, and they didn't have kids. Give me a break. The bottom line, the guy was LOOKING for any reason to exclude me. I think the guy is hung up on his ex or something, but whatever it is, I'm not feeling it and I told him so and gave him the heave-ho.

So hence... I'm done!