I don't think that my friends TRULY understand how difficult dating is, particularly in the south, so I've decided to include a montage of photos featuring some of my favorites I've found in my online dating experience lately. Perhaps one day, one of these people will stumble upon this blog, but I hope that the understanding is this - my hope is to show you the error of your ways. I feel it is now my duty to educate the masses!! With that, my first beef - Glamour shots. You know, those cheesy mall photos of the 80's with the "fuzzy" picture appeal and ridiculously posed photos that wound up making you look, well, stupid? Hmmm.. so why would you use those photos as your profile pictures? Especially multiples of them side by side? I mean, take them one by one. Photo 1 - the "over the shoulder" jean jacket? Really? Has a man appropriately WORN a jean jacket since 1985 unless his name is Steve Perry? And then the next, with the white stool.. hello senior photo. Do you suppose we think you were naturally walking by a white backdrop thinking "Oh look! A white stool!" Click. How natural you look! Now this 3rd fellow went with the Glamour shots and chose the "denim shirt/leather jacket" look for his 1st appealing photo. Perhaps his motivation was David Hasselhoff? And who DOESN'T want to bone the HOFF? Nothing says sexy like the David Hasselhoff look. I only wish that this single gent had left a few buttons undone so I could see that oh-so-sexy chest forest. What woman can POSSIBLY resist? And if you have any qualms, please check out the oh-so-overboard tuxedo look. Is that James Bond or my new husband? I can't decide. But then if the Glamour Shots aren't for you, no worries, because this Glamour-shot man is secretly a pirate!! Yes indeed, he dresses as a pirate on his off days, perhaps when he's not out in his tuxedo or rushing around in his Kitt trans am.
4 comments:
You know you live in "the south" right? Hicks and rednecks are everywhere. Can't imagine white trash in Michigan is any better - they just have a different accent.
You have a point there... but I gotta be honest, here in the south.. MUCH MUCH more weird stuff on the dating sites. Just watch.. I'll have more to come in future weeks :)
Just this morning I saw a guy who had posted a picture of himself in a HOSPITAL BED - and GOWN. Really? W-T-F????
You asked if anyone has actually worn a jeans jacket since some time in the '80s. Well I wore one just a couple of months ago. The purpose was to prevent my body temperature from dropping to a level at which I would feel unomfortably chilly. If that makes me ineligble to date someone of your desirability ... well, I guess I'll just have to grab one of my rotweilers and a couple of my kitty-cats and head on off to Glamour Shots to pose for a few 8x10s (chest hair by request)
My name is Michael, and I do not date intelligent women.
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