6 month relationship over :(

My relationship of 6 months has officially ended, so... ah, back to dating for me... soon, but not today... LOL.. give me some time! The strange thing for me is, I suppose in some ways I'm looking forward to it (until my awful next date where I eat those words) because I feel I do deserve to have a normal, healthy relationship with someone who treats me the way I deserve. I wish he had been that guy, but it turned out he's not.

I feel terrible I neglected my blog though, but... what can a girl do when she was in love? The short of it - my now ex was going through a really nasty divorce and custody battle and just wound up being really... mean to me. I'm a good-hearted person and have a hard time being truly MEAN, and he was just... MEAN, taking out his anger towards his ex on me, telling me I'm not there for him (yet that's all I've done), and then finally telling me he didn't need me nor want me and was purposely making me suffer by ignoring me over and over. Why would ANYONE sane stay?

Me? I can't do that to someone - intentionally hurt him, and I now question whether he ever loved me, because when you love someone, you might make mistakes, you might hurt the other person, but you apologize and move on and forgive. To be so intent on purposely hurting me? There's no way he loved me, and THAT is what hurts the most, but it's also the factor that made it easier to walk away.

Break-ups suck though, as we all know. Right now - I'm all about fun. Already have a packed couple days planned, a 5K with friends, a Ladies Night AND a trip!! I'm not one to sit around crying. I feel sad, but I just know that I deserve every happiness in the world and the last 4 weeks with him have been far from happy - more like me doing everything, him doing nothing and making me feel guilty and trying to convince me I wasn't doing enough. Fuck that shit.