You KNOW the ex bomb.
It's frightening...
It lurks every day after your breakup...
It arrives when you least expect it...
The scenario: You've been broken up for a while. You're moving on. You're feeling pretty sassy. Lost the 15 lbs you ate in chocolate after your breakup. You're healthier, happier and suddenly... you relax. That's when the bomb arrives.
Yes, friends - It happened yesterday. I was email bombed by my ex, Hal.
Now, the relationship didn't end well. Basically, I was fed up with his shit. Over 3 months we went from him loving me so much he wanted to fly me home 3-days early over Christmas break to him not caring if he saw me after being away 9 days and needing his "alone" time. Well he has all the ALONE time he can handle right now, doesn't he? Anyway, things didn't end happily. I finally found my balls (I had lost them, found em' hiding on a shelf) and told him to go sort out his life and BE ALONE if that's what he wants because I want a full-time ADULT relationship and the childish games are over. (You're proud of me just reading this aren't you?) So weeks have gone by and then came.. the email bomb:
Hal: "I am still sorry I sent that to your work email. I was just wondering if you heard anything about the layoffs and if you were affected. I have *my daughter next week for 10 days. *My ex-wife is moving down here in June so this will be easier."
BOMB!!!!!!!!!! Damn it. You stare at the bomb. You can't believe you have one. It happens when you least expect it and it's so innocent looking. It's right there - OMG.. LOOK at the bomb!!! You wring your hands. You wipe the sweat off your brow. You calm down and contemplate your choices:
A - Ignore the bomb and delete it
B - Watch the bomb tick in the inbox of your email and drive you insane. Analyze the bomb with other girlfriends.
C - Detonate the bomb by replying back
I chose a B/C combo because I'm clearly an idiot.
My reply: "Well the email is the LEAST of what you should be sorry for over the past few months, but hey, I'll take what I can get. No, I didn't get laid off this year, so YEAH..good news. I've had bigger things to worry about though with my dad's surgery (he's fine). I'm glad you'll have your daughter, that's awesome for you, and her being closer can only be a good thing for all of you."
(Sigh).. the bombing is becoming like freakin' Iraq now, more and more bombs... His reply: "I am not sure what you are talking about there... I didn't do anything. I know you have accused me of messing around which is not true. So I guess I am sorry that you feel that way about me. Well I am glad you didn't get laid off and that your dad is fine. I hope everything is ok."
Now, after receiving THAT bomb, my anger went through the roof of course "I didn't do anything"??? SERIOUSLY???? I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING?? Did you really just say that to me?? And then I realize what an idiot I am and that ignoring and deleting the bomb would've been the smartest choice, because children are children and will never realize the error of their ways until they grow up.
My final reply: "No need to rehash anything, we just don't envision the same kind of relationship that we want to be in, clearly. Thanks for the concern about my dad & job. Have tons of fun with your daughter and I'm glad things are working out for you."
General resolution? WASTE OF TIME, because he's learned nothing and me - I'm done teaching lessons for the day.
Now, ex bombs arrive in MANY different packages, so please be wary. One Christmas-card bombed me once. That's the after-several-years-bomb with a pleasant, "Hey Merry Christmas, gimme a call sometime" bomb enclosed. I detonated that one too only to find out he was still married and flirting. See? Do not detonate!
Please feel free to comment on your own "bombs"...
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