Let me just say, the well has run DRY in the dating pool. Considering that I live in a big city, this is just, sad. Maybe the economy is running the guys away from eharmony, who knows? All I know is, desperate times call for desperate dating. But how desperate AM I? My two latest matches I shall refer to as the furby and the fugster. Please feel free to vote - go out with both (you all just want a good story, I know)? The furby? The fugster?
The furby - 44. 10 years older. Yikes. I'm not really into the older dudes, mostly because they are boring and come with baggage, but I'm willing right? Remember, the pool is almost empty on the online front. Our initial match said he was 5'8. Now that profile has changed to 5'6. WTF? I'm not into short dudes so now, I'm sort of stuck because we're at the "talking on the phone" stage. Decent converstation though, so that's good. Am I that shallow I would exclude a guy for being shorter than me? Hmmm.. I just might be. The worst part has been the tour of photos on his profile that's like looking at the scrapbook of perpetually hideous shirts. You know how some employers have those "Worst Christmas Sweater" or "Worst Hawaiian Shirt" contests? I'm quite certain he would win... both contests. Each picture contains a shirt uglier than the first. It's a rolling photo book of constant ugliness.
And then.. there's the 'stache. Yeaaaah, will someone tell these dudes that the Tom Selleck, aka Magnum P.I. 'stache went out in... 1982?? 'Staches = old. Goatees = pot smoker. Okay, not really, I've seen some hotties with the goattees. But 'staches are awful. You look like an old dude who trolls the high school leering at the young uns'. Ew.
There is another issue though. The furby is, well.. okay he's just furry, hence why I refer to him as the furby. I see tufts of black hair poking out from those ugly shirts and try to envision myself snuggled up against it. Ew. Will my earrings catch in the black forest? Would wayward hairs stick against my contacts? Perhaps I could make this furry fellow more fashionable with some gold chains and an awesome gold pinky ring? Something tells me, he already owns those. I won't even go into my fear of the "manscaping" situation, but something tells me if I went there, my friends might never find me cause I'd be lost forever, wandering in the jungle, never to be seen again. Ew.
Then there is the fugster. Now, I know I'm not a model and yes, we all have our issues.. but homedude.. is ugly. F'n ugly.. hence = fugster. Again, old..er. 43 and kids involved, so there is baggage. We haven't talked on the phone and he's already talking about me meeting his kids and hanging out with them. UGH. Not that I don't love kids, I do, but ya know - let me get to know YOU and see if I'm interested in you before you lay the kids on me. I know that many dating people with kids feel like they are a "package deal", but don't rush that package express or I'll run away cause you'll freak me out with overload, thinking you're trying to make me a new "mommy" or something. Just a little pointer there.
Both have good jobs and could be totally completely wonderful guys. But are these really my only options?
We'll find out....
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